emotional Trap of development

It's been a while working on this tiny project. I want to talk about how it is sometimes hard to go on. I am not sure how many people struggles with this state (I read and heard about couples of them, so maybe it is not unusual), but sharing with this means I open up and feel more comfort.

So one day I was working on this and I thought about an idea. I wanted to make a room (example of OOP) with animals. And they HAD TO move randomly on the room, eating plants, making sounds. I think it's seems simple for many of you. Just create some methods with randomising vector which will be changing once a while. I thought it too and started to writing some code. And then it crushed me. How to do it? I struggled with some ideas, thinking hard and wondering why am I so stupid and can't figure it out? Every damn thing was wrong, I tested it and failed.

Now I am more understanding and forgiving for myself - I am aware I can't know everything. Especially in one day. This is a process and requires sacrifice a lot of time to learn, to test, to know. But then it was a horrible feeling. Like, everyone shouted to you, that you are not good enough. And those thoughts appeared on its own. I know they are not mine. They showed like the voice of screaming baby showed in some neighbouring apartment.

After I was angry for myself I took a break. It took me about two days to figure something and make the animals behave like in my mind. Not yet randomised, but still I am somehow proud of the solution. Yes, I know, that it's probably shitty and bad and for some time I will be laughing at this, but now it is what it is - I can enjoy the moment.

So the lesson for today - do not give up, take a break, which gives your mind some distance and perspective. Be proud, but not too proud - you have to growth, for your own good :D.

Cheers!